Running, (not running from) #covid19, and why i’m def not putting my “best life” on hold

I’ll bet you you primarily clicked on this link because your bloodhound nose was like *SNIFFS* “SHE’S GOING TO TALK ABOUT CORONAVIRUS!”, eh? 😉 If you want a couple of fear mongering paragraphs with a mortality rate, you’re in the wrong spot. Or, if you’re on the opposite end of the spectrum, and assume that because I think more on the “functional” end of medicine/healing one’s bod, I’m going to suggest an essential oil blend + a bowel ripping juice cleanse, you’re also in the wrong spot. Or, maybe you’ve been keeping up with my my FB/Insta stories, and are already brewing how to scold me in my DMs.

But, before I talk about #COVID19, I want to talk about fun stuff. It’s kind of like eating dessert before dinner (one of my best, personal codes of conduct) and hitting the veggie tray #later.

Last week, I was supposed to have run the LA Marathon. As fate (more like Divine intervention) would have it, my last speed workout is but a history mark tabbed in December, the ego boosting long runs took a swift halt, and it’s been months and months of eeeeeasy, slooooow miles. What began as tight hip discomfort back in the fall, soon transitioned into a hip AND ankle/peroneal kind of walk-shuffle-run(ish), rehab party.

My lofty goals and ambitions became delayed gratification, and so? I had no choice but to work hard, by doing what I have always found hardest: The boring, blah, 1%’s. AKA: Easy miles, mobility/drills, foam rolling, stretching, many days OFF/cross training instead, PT (except that I actually flipping love learning from my PT, entrust my half crippled biomechanics’ LIFE to her knowledge, and see PT as fun vs. blah), all the goods.

As a “Get it done; get it QUICK,” kinda gal, this whole process has been good for my restless soul. I’ve been told all throughout my life, “AG, slow down,” but even if I’m worn slap out, my brain cannot seem to power off. I do not think this is healthy either. In fact, if anything, this all has reminded me that quality and intention FAR outweigh the whole “Hustle” mindset. Just as everyday of running does not need to be fast (even though track workouts bring me right back to the spurt of joy I felt playing TAG as a little girl); every day of life does not need to be fast and always on the go either.

Some injury free, happy go lucky miles later, and I can’t waaait to share my new race plans/training soon! It’s been more endurance in slowing down vs. crazy miles pounded out, lemme tell ya. After a month of “coach sampling”, I FINALLY was decisive + felt like one of the overly dramatic brides who says “YES” to one of 923874 blingedy dresses. Just insert a novice, indecisive runner, agreeing (aka being decisive) to a coach. Whoo hoo!

Yesterday, I ran in the early morning sky’s gloom, 60 something degrees (finally!), and a healing rain, and it was glorious. No earbuds, no slavery to my GPS watch, just a bunch of impatient drivers dramatically swerving over, puddle hopping, splashing around, and feeling weirdly refreshed by running in a downpour. I dropped by the gym to work on my crunchy joints afterward, and a guy (who appeared to be a fellow runner?) approached and said he saw me puddle running in the rain earlier and gave me “Kudos!”. Wilted braids + scent of a wet dog, and we exchanged fist bumps. See now – our male pals are also pom pom-less cheerleaders! Challenge: Go fist bump someone today and tell them they’re rad! Now, let’s talk about coronavirus just a sec…

I stood in a checkout line, misted by Lysol, as an employee frantically perfumed the card reader.

“Protocol?” I sort of laughed, inserting my card in the soaked chip reader. She anxiously replied that an old man mentioned that he might quarantine himself, so Lysol it is!

A fidgeting client double checked that we washed the face cradle covers. This question has literally never, ever been asked to me in 2.5 years. Ever. And if we wash the sheets, why wouldn’t we wash the face cradle covers too?! I reassured the client, but he still seemed uneasy.

I heard word that life, as we know it, seems to be postponing events, shutting down, and that the public is currently dangerous. I’ve been in the middle of many COVID19 conversations here lately, and the recurring question is this:

Shouldn’t you be at least a little concerned?

Well, the short answer for me, PERSONALLY (as in – applying to myself), is: No.

I am not afraid in the slightest. I am not concerned for my wellbeing or mortality in the slightest. I feel 0 panic. I do not plan on quarantining myself or putting my life on hold. I do not believe that Lysol, hand sanitizer, face masks, or even excessive hand washing will magically POOF! COVID19 proof me. It just doesn’t work that way; just like eating a salad, or hand full of kale, won’t suddenly transform your vitals overnight. See what I’m getting at here?

Here’s the thing: I believe that if we have proactively maintained health, and do all the “immune boosting” we would PRIOR to this virus…then continuing could be in your favor. And in return, the fruits of your ongoing labor will likely give your immunity a better chance of resisting it. However, I’m just gonna say it: If you don’t take care of yourself like you suddenly do when a flu strain/virus comes spiraling through…or even IF you take all the precaution…you could have already been exposed, or already have coronavirus, or have even already passed it on and fought it off and never known, and freaking out is not going to help you any. On a literal, biological level…Cortisol, via your immense stress and causing Costco’s toilet paper famine, is only going to weaken your immunity, if anything.

I know that sounds really blunt, scary, and mildly b*tchy at first glance.

Maybe it stemmed from hours of Marco Polo convos with my anti-vax/anti-CDC research savvy pal (fun fact: When I visited her in FL, our wild night life consisted of The Truth About Vaccines documentary while sitting on her biomat). Maybe it’s my deeply rooted wonder of what going low key anarchist would look like (*hits unsubscribe*). Maybe it’s the fact that I believe the Center for People Disease Control is doing exactly what it’s title states: Controlling disease…but perhaps without we, the people’s, best interest in mind. Or, maybe it’s simply because everywhere I go, everyone I see, and everything I hear is ridiculously rooted in a fear that seems far worse than the actual virus!

Am I concerned for those with weakened, susceptible immunity (certain demographics of the elderly, children, etc.) or an underlying condition that this could exacerbate? Yes. And they need to take precaution and be careful out there, just as they would any other illness spreading around.

The mortality rates with COVID19 are among those of the elderly, with underlying health conditions. This is why I say that, yes, this demographic should take extra precaution. I do question if quarantining is the answer though. But that’s a question for another day.

Here’s where we take it home: Yes; you could very likely contract coronavirus. Will you die? Probably not. Could you? Sure. Statistically, you are more likely to be in a water or automobile related fatality, than you are a very curable virus. In January, a whopping 10 of us had the exact signs and symptoms. We all looked half dead. I had never been sicker in my life, had a fun Friday night in the ER, but guess what? I am still here, living and breathing, definitely NOT putting life on hold.

I also happened to be in great company during the sickest I’d ever felt in my #LIFE, and whilst barely being able to move, while pathetically sprawled out in front of a furnace to keep my cold, pale body warm…I actually had loads of fun. Go ahead and guilt me; tell me why I should take this so much more seriously. Hello, my name is Anna Gray Smith, I may or may not have already both contracted AND lived through COVID19 – so there’s my credential. I also much preferred to have fun, while hosting this contagion, vs. flipping out. That part is up to you, if worst comes to worst. Personally, I had some of the best conversations, laughter, and company than I have in my life…all with a skyrocketing fever, the sexiest of phlegmy coughs, and sleeping 90% of the day. You know what I did when worst came to worst? I took a bunch of elderberry syrup, drank water, turned the guest room into a sauna (yes; I intentionally turned my body into an inferno! Bring on the heat, baby!), and slept almost 10 days away. And one day, I woke up, and felt 100% better. It was literally that simple.

So, before you gaslight me (20 somethings get this frequently), we have some choices: 1) Run around in fear, buying out all the toilet paper and spiking our cortisol, only making us more susceptible, and telling everyone to be gravely concerned. OR 2) Being aware of what’s happening. Taking precaution, if we are within certain demographics. And then, living.

Want to know a secret? I used to live in fear to the point of making myself sick. Getting SICK was actually like life or death to me, and I lived in a constant state of paranoia, joining in on the Lysol/hand sanitizer/shrivel up in terror bandwagon. Once, I recall actually spraying down my body with lemon scented Lysol, and I would MAKE myself feel sicker, by freaking out about getting sick. Guess what I gained from it? Absolutely nothing, except fear of the world, fear of every single “What if?”, and allowed myself to become rooted and grounded in completely ridiculous, unnecessary anxiety. And, ironically, getting SICK due to stress about getting SICK!

And then, one day, I realized I survived 2 seasons of CA wildfires (one being a mile from where I lived). I survived 2 car accidents. I survived my own living Hell, some of my worst nightmares coming true, and through each of them, when they hit and worst came to worst? I firsthand experienced how God was still so compassionate and so good.

This ease I feel is truly not who I used to be. In fact, this is the first epidemic where I feel so much peace and find so much joy in living in freedom, NOT fear. After being through my personal worst of the worst, Coronavirus? Affecting me, personally? If I get it, I get it. And I’ll either live through it, or I won’t. How will freaking out and “being concerned” make a difference? For MY immunity? How will it “add a single hour” to my life? It will do nothing but escalate unnecessary fear that I feel much better WITHOUT. 🙂 You do you. As for me, I’ll keep living my life as best I can – remaining informed, while still running and writing and working and blogging and collaborating and licking door handles (wink).

And to close the curtains, via a dear friend, some food for thought. #FiresideChatSaturday (?) (wink 😉 )

“Nothing in politics happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way.” -FDR