I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but people are going to be your ultimate letdown at some point in time.
People are going to bail.
People are going to do a half assed job.
People are going to chronically forget.
People are going to commit and fail to follow through.
And sometimes, people just won’t show up at all.
My downfall has always been the idea that in order to accomplish something, I MUST have other people by my side. Independent and feisty and “go-getter” as I am, it was always instilled in my brain that I could not possibly do hard things by myself. I always needed a support system, extra person to work in tandem with, brain with an equally ambitious drive and pursuit as mine for a project.
I have never seen myself as a “leader”. You know how some people are born to take charge, give direction, and execute a mission? And often were the bossy, boisterous high schoolers declaring orders to others without a care in the world? Yeah; that’s never been me. I’ve always seen myself as a follower. Even if I have a magnificent vision I want to launch, a palette of tools to get it started, and even the skillset, qualifications, credibility, and more than enough capability to do it myself…I always wait for someone to tag team it. But sometimes, the team won’t show, and it comes down to you. When no one else show up, will you?
Last summer, I conspired a group run. I was super pumped, giddy to have running buddies for a good portion of a long run, and gave myself a pat on the back. Look at you branching out and initiating and not just being the follower! Be the change! YEAH! Some people showed equal ambition, committed, and the morning I waited in the parking lot for everyone to show…you know who showed up?
Nobody.
Not a single person. It was this moment that I will never forget, and that has since set the stage for much of my life this last year. I checked my phone for an update to see if there was a change of plans. Nothing. I looked around the empty YMCA parking lot. I felt slightly annoyed, as if the long run ahead wouldn’t be the same, since my expectations had taken a shift. It was as though I suddenly “needed” people in order to run. I was fully capable of running. I was fully capable of hitting the times on my schedule. But somehow, everything felt like such a letdown, killing the tenacious vibe I needed to get going. And then, I had an epiphany.
“You still showed up.”
That has become a mantra of sorts ever since that moment.
I think that often, we subconsciously wait for some green light “GO AHEAD” from someone else to first affirm that one thing we want to set out to do. We can have the drive, the passion, every single tool in our toolbox, and the very things we need to go forth, and yet? We suddenly seek a voice of permission or approval. We are more than capable, but the mind (and sometimes the ego) demands otherwise, as if we’re somehow incapable of still doing the dirty work. It’s the solo we dislike.
Or, it’s the desire to take comfort in knowing that someone else is struggling right along with us in the process, and equally taking part in the growing pains and discomfort. I love the taste of victory, but I hate the squeamishness in the unknowns, risks, and uncomfortable but necessary growth within. I love reaping the fruit, but I hate the tedious labor of planting and tending to the seeds. I love setting out to tackle my deepest ambitions and fears, but I hate the loneliness and setback and failure I must endure by myself. I need someone else to give the “Go ahead”, and I need someone else to share my growing pain.
But do I?
I looked around the parking lot in that early morning hour, nobody in sight. You’re still here, aren’t you? You showed up. Nobody else did. But you did. And you still can.
And so, I took off, and I ran.
And so can you. Run, my friend. Run with bravery and tenacity and joy. You’ll grit your teeth at some points and feel as though you cannot take a step further. But hear me: Even in those tender moments where no one is available to pull you through…even when no one else shows up…
You can. You can write that book, that blog, record that podcast, that song, that video. You can pave the way for that business, that house, that job. You can train your tushie off for that 5k, that half marathon, that marathon. You can buy the ticket for that train ride, that flight, that 1 way move across the country. You can still show up.
Go get ’em, tiger.