9 juicy massage questions

What can I say? I’m young, I’m female, and I touch people for a living. Considering physical touch has never (ever) been my primary love language, it’s quite common to get some raised eyebrows when I explain that I work as a Licensed Massage Therapist. And you know what? I get it. 4 years ago, I received my first ever massage. Until finding myself enrolled in a slew of science, ethics, and hands on classes, and wild weekends consisting of clinic hours, just 1 year later (AKA: Massage Therapy school)…my little brain tossed around many of the same questions. 3 years later, and though massage & bodywork have no gray areas to me anymore (thousands of bodies + treatment later), I understand that this is not the case for everyone. Lucky for YOU, I #LOVE answering your deepest, darkest, juiciest questions, and have no fear in discussing the questions you giggle, avoid eye contact, or secretly email and ask me.

“So you’re an…erm….masseuse? Er….masseur? What’s the difference? You rub on people all day in a massage parlor?”

Well, I am tickled pink you asked! 😉 A few basics, before we dive in. First off, let me clarify that I am a Licensed Massage & Bodywork Therapist. I attended an accredited school, cried/slaved my way through many anatomy/physiology/kinesiology/pathology exams, learned how to speak the muscular system and origins and insertions and actions, had approx. 982734 clinic weekends, and on top of it all, was required to take a state board to become licensed. And yes; I actually cried 3x during it. So, with that being said, I am not a masseuse, nor am I a masseur. What is the difference between an LMT vs. masseur, you inquire? To keep it super simple for now, let’s put it this way: “Masseuse” or “Masseur” essentially is calling me a whore. “Massage parlor” is essentially saying that I “rub on people” (#rubdown) in a brothel, or provide…you know…Wink, wink “massage”. Do I take offense to these statements? NOPE! Does it make me both cringe and giggle a little inside? YUP! But, hey, that is what I am here for today. Gov. Cooper, you should read this! Gray area, we’re coming for you! Hang tight, because seriously, we’re going to just jump straight in to 9 of the juiciest massage questions I’m asked; ok?! Seatbelts on; LET’S GO!

1. “Do I have to be completely naked?”

Absolutely not. How MUCH or how LITTLE you keep on, is 100% your preference. Your massage therapist should never pressure (hahaha but no seriously, that’s not a pun) or insist that you take off anything. During the client intake (YES; we also legally must SOAP note and review your medical history!), I will inform my clients if their requested work would be most efficient without certain layers of clothing, but ultimately? The choice is in their hands (pun intended?), and I conclude by letting them know that they will receive fantastic work either way. Some choose no clothes. If they do, ALL important parts of the body remained draped, and I NEVER expose/undrape the breast, genital, or full gluteal region. Ever. Some choose to be partially or even fully clothed. Even if I KNOW that their low back pain or chronically tight hamstring issue would be best resolved via DIRECT palpation/contact, but they choose to wear clothing…guess what? I do not alter it. I do not question it, once they are on the table. I do not pressure them to take off their sports bra or yoga pants. Their clothing = THEIR boundary.

There is this unnecessary stigma in massage world, among many, that NAKED = BEST. This is completely untrue, and should never be manipulated. In fact – and especially with my background in sports/condition specific massage therapy – an extra layer of clothing was often highly recommended for certain types of sessions. With many athletes, a sports bra + shorts sufficed PERFECTLY. If someone needed work on certain attachment sites (ever had work on a tight Psoas? TFL?), stretching, or any type of work that would otherwise be a bit risky for a naked body + thin sheet, guess what? The work was still totally efficient WITH clothing, and no one “had” to be naked to feel + perform well in their sport. *mic down*

2. “Do you work on men?“

The short answer is: YES. I do! I have worked on thousands of men in just 3 short years, at this point in time. It is nothing uncomfortable or weird for me, and I treat all male clients with the same professional demeanor as I would a female client. The long(er) answer is: Just as there are clear boundaries with draping and clothing vs. no clothing (see above), so it is with the Therapist/Client relationship. A male client remains draped. I review his health intake, we agree on a treatment plan and bodywork for our session, I explain draping procedures, leave the room, let him change and settle onto the table, knock on the door, and then we begin the massage. If there’s a cricket chirp, and you’re waiting for me to say that I flirt, crack jokes, give attractive male clients my number, or end the session with “That’s what she said!”, you’re in the wrong spot, pal. 😉 Perhaps if I were a Masseuse or a Masseur; but since we have all agreed and understand that I am a Licensed Massage Therapist, ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat! I think the underlying curiosity behind this question is REALLY: “Does working on men create a sexual atmosphere in the treatment room?” This leads to the million dollar question of them all…the one everyyyone has been waiting for…

3. “What happens if a man has an erection during the massage?“

Someone just did a double take. Or spit out their evening glass of wine (or #Corona, because #ThemesLately;)) (Ok; Sorry) on the screen. Or saw the word “Erection” and HAD to at least read the goods with #3, even if they skipped everything else. Ah; yes. Massage and erections. This is a perfectly legitimate question. If I work on males, and males are fully capable of having an erection, then HOW is my scope of practice still ethical and non-sexual, and WHAT the heck happens if a male has an erection…ON MY TABLE?

Uncomfortably clear my throat and pretend I’m just seeing things? Call the police? Ask if it can be put down? End the session? Forcibly dig my elbow into his quadricep to trigger the sympathetic nervous system? Remember where I stated that I’ve worked on thousands of bodies, including males? Well, here’s where I tell you that thousands of the male anatomy HAVE, in fact, had an erection…on my table. Yes. So, “what do I do” when this occurs?

I do and say absolutely nothing. I continue on with the massage, maintaining the same professional demeanor, as I would any other session. Contrary to most assumptions, an erection is actually a normal, physiological response…IF the session has remained professional and there has been no underlying, inappropriate response or action from the client or therapist. If there has been any sort of sexual connotations, remarks, or inappropriate situation leading to such physiological responses though, then the session will be terminated. Plain and simple. And that’s just about it. Here’s a quick anatomy lesson for you: During a massage therapy session, the parasympathetic nervous system is triggered, which allows the body to rest and relax. This can lead to higher levels of Oxytocin in the bloodstream, and as result, in some cases? Erectile stimulation. Does it always happen? No. But is it an otherwise normal occurrence that could happen? Yes.

4. “Are you ever hit on?“

Yes. But, is it often? No. The therapist’s demeanor and confidence, I believe, has MUCH to do with this. In Los Angeles, I was literally asked the street address of where I lived, told that my boyfriend at the time was lucky to have me (Thanks?), and yes – actually had a client ask me if I had seen “The Masseuse” episode of Seinfeld, while quoting it…during the massage. Because the therapist is the higher power differential in the treatment room, I find that as I have become more confident in my work, assessment, intake, all the goods leading up to the actual session…this shapes the energy of the room, and keeps the ambiance in a very clinical, professional manner. On the flip side of the token, however: I am young, female, wear makeup, fix my hair, tidy myself up, and smile, just as I do in my day to day life and tasks. There ARE the occasional handful who take this as though I am flirtatious, or interact with me as though I am a little girl they must call “Sweetheart,” or ask rather inappropriate questions or remarks to. It is rarer now, but it does still happen!

5. “Do you actually touch people’s butts?“

In a securely draped, professional, ethical scope of practice, YES! The gluteal muscles play a crucial role in the body, and any work on them is done under informed/agreed consent of the client beforehand. I can assure you that glute work is never a part of some frivolous, full body “rub down” (Remember how we have established that I am a Licensed Massage Therapist and not a Masseuse or Masseur? 😉 ). There are 3 major muscles that consist of the gluteals, and lying deep to them, are 6 lateral rotators. Working on these muscle groups (which can involve techniques such as massage, compression, stretching/PNF P-ROM) actually provides great relief and efficiency for certain conditions. This can range from low back pain, to even chronically tight hips with lack of ROM. The difference both my clients and I see after informed/agreed consent for glute work, is uncanny. In the treatment room, I am looking purely through the scope of the muscular system with origins and insertions and actions; NOT a body part that can be sexual.

6. “Are you ever attracted to your clients?“

First, let’s define this question: Do I ever perceive someone as an attractive human? Yes! As is normal for any and every person, when we perceive beauty or attraction! Do I ever perceive someone with sexual interest in mind? Absolutely not. In Los Angeles, I had just finished working on a host for a TV show (legally, I cannot disclose names!), when a woman at the front desk gushed,

“Anna, WHAT did his body look like? Was it as HOT as it is in these photos?!”

A flood of Google images of a chiseled man in his stardom appeared – my client – on a giant Apple screen. I truly cannot explain how uncomfortable that question made me. I didn’t even know how to answer, since I most certainly did not have her words in mind. As stated in #5, I am looking PURELY through the scope of the muscular system, contraindications, and an appropriate treatment protocol for my client’s needs. In the practice, my clients are 100% seen through my professional scope, NOT a sexual array of body parts that I should be “attracted to”. Have I worked on chiseled, ripped men? Oh, all the time. But, chiseled = hypertonic muscle in my book. And hypertonic muscle with a condition specific protocol does not EVER = sexual attraction.

7. “What if someone is hairy?“

Sorry bro; I’m terminating the session because you have body hair. “WHAT IF?!” Well, then I lather up, check in to make sure I am not giving an accidental full body Brazilian (wink), and (GASP!) treat the client the same as I would anyone else! At the end of the day, my hands and forearms almost always have shards of leg, arm, or back hair adhered to it, among many other flakes of the human specimen. Women are typically the most self-conscious, and eternally apologizing for even a sprinkle of leg stubble. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I always laugh, reassure them, and think to myself, “If ONLY they know the true grit of what I’ve seen LOL.” Seriously though – hair, dead skin, dirt, sweat, and other forms of human DNA are my palette! Anyone is welcome on my table, Brittany Spears circa 2007, or Sasquatch!

8. “So seeing naked people is pretty normal for you?“

This one makes me laugh. Assumedly, because I work on people who COULD be naked underneath a securely draped sheet + blanket, I automatically must feel total chill if a hypothetical naked person were to walk into the room. Oh, look, a sac of balls. Boobs. Eh; whatevs. *continues sipping matcha* Let me repeat something: I do not EVER see my clients NAKED. They are always draped! Always! Even with more specific work at an attachment site, important parts = COVERED. ALWAYS. Even in the inevitable situation that a client shifts or moves their drape in such a way that DOES expose some private regions (some things are unfortunately unseeable)…I would never, under any circumstance, feel totally at ease with POOF! Full frontal nudity, or even opening the door to seeing my client half naked on TOP of the sheet, instead of UNDER (yes; this has happened). And since we are VERY well aware now that I am (What was that?) (Ah; yes!) (Just a little louder!;)) a Licensed Massage Therapist (Bingo!), then we can dub that perhaps this might be something that a Masseuse or a Masseur might feel more comfortable with. 😉 But not an LMT!

9. “Have you worked on anyone famous?“

I have! Due to client confidentiality, however, I cannot name names! In California, this was permissible in certain contexts, but seeing as how I now practice in North Carolina (aka where we actually have ethical practice + a board), they must remain nameless. I will say this though: I worked on a musician who was a favorite to see perform when I was a little girl. I’ve worked on TV hosts, social media influencers, sports teams, and some people who I had 0 clue were some “something”, until the front desk said, “Uhm…you know who that was, right?!” #Whoops! So, yes, I have. And I’ve treated them just as I would any other client. When you quite literally feel the tension and see the literal flesh that is (gasp) just like every other humans’…it really puts things in perspective. It’s an honor, sure, but I don’t see well known faces as “Superhuman” or this pedestal of sheer glory. I’ve never asked for photos, seen if they’d join my MLM (jk), gushed about how beautiful or talented they were, asked for their phone #, begged for their hand in marriage, and I definitely washed my hands after touching them. Famous people have pathogens too!

There you have it, my friends! That’s a wrap for the I Touch People For a Living, Pt. i series. NEXT UP: Massage Therapy Myths. Hit the Contact tab OR comment any questions you might have, below!